If you were ever labeled “sensitive”, “emotional”, “cry-baby”, etc. then this blog post is for you! If you’re have people like this in your life, you should also take a chance and read this too, so you can better comprehend them (even if you choose to distance yourself from them in the end! Wisdom never hurts.)
Sometimes it feels like this topic gets beaten over the head, and there’s always this frustration around the topic of sensitivity. I guess that’s probably why there are so many articles out there now. Truth is, everyone needs guidance at some point in their life, and sometimes an article makes the world of a difference. The articles I have read have helped me to change the feelings of worthlessness and inherent wrongness into acceptance of myself, simply because I was able to connect with somebody that understood! That one moment of support helped me achieve a much more independent state of self-validation, which is ultimately the goal. It made a world of a difference, so I want to offer the same to someone that might feel this way too. Some people need to distract themselves to feel better. Others just need to talk or feel heard and seen. We all have different emotional needs! That’s the beauty of this life.
But when others are irritated with your emotional expression, and choose to shame and punish you for it, it is easy to fall into unhealthy patterns of repression and anger. I personally experienced that and had to fight off the urge to do what they did and fall back into old patterns when people treat me that way.
But today, I have learned to pause, retreat, review and respond. And sometimes, no response is the best response. Not everything is personal, no matter how much it may look personal. It’s a hard lesson to learn and accept, but people’s judgments and intolerances are connected to their personal worlds and wounds. Learning that and accepting that people can sometimes utilize that counterintuitive practice has helped me to let go of judgments that don’t relate to me. My sensitive nature can be strengthened, if only I choose to see it that way and work toward it. What other people think about it is NONE OF MY BUSINESS.
“I don’t like the feeling around my emotional needs being judged” is no longer a viable reason for shutting down or doing what others think is best for me anymore. On the contrary, it is SUPER important to talk about these things with people that see you, or simply with yourself. That flow in communication is what makes its effects less painful, and it is through conversation that knowledge becomes wisdom.
But finding a listening ear, paired with compassionate honesty is like finding a rare gemstone, especially with how sensitivity can be portrayed these days. There is a chance you will be seen as a burden, annoying, or even oblivious; and while you might manifest some negative traits here and there, you’re neither a burden nor annoying just for expressing yourself. You are growing! Growth is awkward and sometimes not the most appealing to the eye or heart.
But you can learn and you can grow through that! You just need the right support system. Tons of weight was dropped this year for myself and everyone around me when I stopped emotionally dumping, and questioned myself.
“Why do I keep looking for emotional validation outside of myself?”
Even if necessary, it was truly so painful answering that question. I didn’t like the idea of being alone with my feelings, mostly because I didn’t know what to do with them.
So I learned the comfort of my own presence. The greatest gift you can give yourself is your friendship.
When we lose loved ones or become distant, it can be devastating because losses can be unexpected and shocking, and some can be based around misunderstandings, too. In the past, I would immediately work to patch it up and work through the awkward energy. But today, I pause and think about the person before me. Maybe they aren’t in a good space, or I do not belong in close proximity anymore. Everyone is entitled to boundaries. But more importantly, some people may not know how to help you through those difficult moments. I have learned to respect them and flow through the changes.
I don’t feel that it’s my place to pretend I am okay at the cost of myself, for the benefit of the “status quo” anymore, so I don’t deny myself my emotions. However, I allow changes in my relationships, because people evolve and deserve that grace. Taking care of my reactions and emotions creates space for a variety of relationships to blossom. It may not be what I envision at all times, but it is what we ALL need, so that is what matters to me. No one should be forced to support you, if they don’t have the tools to help.
I have the ability to feel SO DEEPLY. But it doesn’t have to be scary. Remember that emotions are so fleeting. Even if there is always a desire from others to justify the constant desire to change my nature, rather than a desire to nurture and understand it, I refuse to go against my nature and my superpower. I have learned to practice drawing the line on my reactions instead. I experience emotions, but it is up to me how they affect me.
Everyone can benefit from a sensitive person in their group, but not everyone has the patience or compassion skills for the mistakes they will make along the way. But that drove me to find ways to change my perspective and drop that unnecessary weight within myself!
Your sensitivity is your superpower! But that comes with a huge responsibility: harness your power and know when to use it.
It’s hard not to feel alone, embarrassed, rejected, and mocked for expressing yourself, all while learning your gifts. Especially when you have felt that way your whole life. Not everyone will understand. Learn to be okay with that, and you will find a different kind of peace.
This world is full of paradoxes and painful reminders of our shortcomings. But it is also full of uplifting moments and joy. Choose to see the better side of it. Find your balance. Being an empath or a sensitive person can be challenging. Embrace it anyway! Duality, like a double edged sword, takes practice in handling. If you focus on only one side, the sweetness, then the other side, the bitterness, cuts deep. Too much of either one is poison. Balance will be your greatest tool of protection! You are capable. Trust yourself to walk through the trenches, while remembering that the light will follow soon.
Love forever,
Daniposa